The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

Winning is fun. Winning IS fun! Sure there are a lot of other reasons I love running - making great friends, seeing the world, working hard to achieve your best - but screw what all those sports psychs say, I like to win.

Unfortunately, I'm not doing a lot of it lately..

For the past couple weeks, and for one month each summer for the past five summers, I've been living in Turnhout, Belgium. Coming to Europe and staying in Turnhout, Belgium is the equivalent of travelling to Canada and staying in New Glasgow, Nova Scotia (for those of you who don't know, my hometown) - it's the most unlikely destination, but you end up loving it just the same. The best thing about Turnhout, and Belgium, is waffels, chocolate, beer, and the little cookie that is always served with your coffee. Ironically, the worst thing for running fast is waffles, chocolate, beer and the little cookie that is always served with your coffee.

Since being here I've raced three times, twice in Belgium and once in England. (FYI - you could create an entire blog about how strange it is that people drive on the wrong side of the road and that when something is expensive, British people call it dear?!?! Does a high price tag really require a term of endearment?) Anyway, I've raced three times and have run the same, stupid time, every time. 2:05 - two seconds off my best and about 5 seconds slower than I wish I was running. Yuck!

In my race last night, the conditions were set up perfect. I was in a fast race, on a fast track and I was feeling fast. So after running 2:05.... again .... I was walking around with that lump in your throat that makes it hard to breathe and a couple times, broke into a good old cry. I really just felt devastated. But in sports, I have to say, there is something beautiful in the sadness of a loss. It's hard work that hasn't paid off, but hard work nonetheless. It's hopes and dreams that haven't come true, but hopes and dreams nonetheless. It's putting yourself on the line, giving it your best shot and coming up short, but putting yourself on the line and giving it your best shot nonetheless. That's sports! The good, the bad and the ugly (the ugly being those marathon runners that shit their pants!)

So, in the words of my coach, "At this point in the season, all you can do is rest and prepare for one more." So that's what I'm going to do. One more race to end the summer. Next weekend. In Belgium. And then waffles, chocolate, beer and little cookies with coffee here I come!

Always yours,